regret

There are few things that I regret most in the 30 years of my "not so amazing" life. The first and foremost probably is when I could not be there when He moved on to the eternal life. At the time, I always try to convince my "silly" heart that I'm fine with it, since I thought I have done everything while he is still around. However, I knew that inside the back of my mind how I wish I was not as stubborn as a mule and get my butt home while I still can, to see him and bid the final goodbye...and said the very important thing I wish to say to him..."I love you, pap". There it goes the first one, just like in a movie.

The second one happens now. Due to my selfish, ignorant, arogant and a FOOL that's me, I have wasted the most wonderful gift that GOD has given me, which is the chance to graduate. How could I choose to surrender to the devil at the time, and live the opposite life that GOD has build for me. I am a complete IDIOT. I am 30 and an Idiot. I wish to apologize to God, my mother and my beloved ones. I do not know if GOD will still open the window of opportunities for me even though HE had forsaken me long ago, but honestly, I really wish HE will.

No matter what the Future holds, From then on, I promise I would do everything I can to stay in HIS Path, Never would I want to ponder and doubt. I am 30 years old, and I wish to grow up.